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"No means yes, and yes means anal!" "It's bad luck to open an umbrella when it's jammed in your guts." "Drugs: Take them often and indiscriminately." "I can tell you from experience that those Happy Pills work even better if you grind them up and inject them into the folds of your scrotum." "Nothing says 'I'm gonna rip your fuckin' head off' like making an entrance to a bunch of flowers." "Counting to ten in this game can get you killed." "I say discretion is the better part of being a fucking pussy." "Sometimes the best way of beating a problem is to jump on it and ride it until it's your bitch." "There's just something satisfying about torching a zombie." "Not all problems can be solved by sticking things in them."