Kreese Kreely

"I've survived more than my share of these crazy contests, and I can tell you that our audience is gonna see more gushing blood and severed heads than a troop of girl scouts camping in an unexploded mine field. We've got some savage contestants, amazing arenas and a fuckload of surprises for you."

- Kreese Kreely

Kreese Kreely is one of the two commentators for DeathWatch during the events of MadWorld, the other beeing Howard "Buckshot" Holmes. As a former contestant and even champion, it is his job to provide insight on the game's events as well as anecdotal bits of his own career.

Kreese is voiced by John DiMaggio.

Background
Kreese is a former DeathWatch contestant and champion, having participated in numerous games and fought many of the opponents later faced by Jack Cayman. Though he admits to sustaining heavy injury against many of them, the only one he directly states to have lost to is Elise.

Personality
Being former participant in the DeathWatch games on a regular basis, Kreese obviously holds little regard for human life. He enjoys the gruesome kills Jack performs on his opponents, and sometimes can be heard reminiscing about the kills he himself performed during his active career. Despite this, he stated multiple times that he does not wish to be back in DeathWatch.

Kreese also seems to care little for intellectuals, as he repeatedly depreciates his colleague Howard when he says something more educated or uses words that Kreese doesn't understand. He also thinks that intellectuals are "pussies" and thinks that only the strong have the right of way. Fittingly, he seems to be bad at mathematics and stated numerous times that he is an illiterate.

Like his co-commentator Howard, Kreese apparently is an alcoholic (especially favoring Scotch) and a drug abuser. He also enjoys unprotected sex with prostitutes, but unlike Howard, he is not a sex addict, and is even a little bit disturbed by Howard's immense sexual deviancy.

He seems to have a notable hatred for Howard in general, aside from him being disturbed at his numerous perversions, as he often insults and demeans Howard throughout the game, complains about having to sit next to him, and even tries to goad him into committing suicide. However, there are other moments where the two are seemingly bonding over drinking and making jokes towards Jack and the contestants.

Injuries
Kreese Kreely has suffered quite some injuries during his career as a DeathWatch contestant, including:
 * A permanently ruptured hemorrhoid from his fight with Little Eddie.
 * A torn scrotum from a kick in the groin by Jude the Dude.
 * A collapsed lung and a torn urethra from the battle with Von Twirlenkiller during the Cuba games.
 * Some lost teeth and damage to the genitourinary system causing hematuria from the battle with RinRin.
 * Pancreatic injury from his battle against Yokozuna.
 * Damage to his gluteal region and anal orifice from his fight against The Shamans in the '04 Games.
 * Even more damage to his anal orifice when Frank used him as a hand puppet in the '07 Games.
 * A hemorrhage-induced coma after he lost to Elise during the Eastern Bloc Games.
 * Even more pancreatic injury during his last match up with The Masters.

Involvement in DeathWatch
Kreese currently works as commentator for Deathwatch's broadcast on Shock TV. His commentary can be heard throughout the entire game (except cut-scenes), as well as during the end credits.

Quotes (selection)

 * "No means yes, and yes means anal!"
 * "It's bad luck to open an umbrella when it's jammed in your guts."
 * "Yeah, that's not bad, but back in the day I tossed a couple of guys into the dumpster and really watched the chunks fly!"
 * "There's somethin' about the sound of a grown man screaming in terror that just makes me happy."
 * "That was an impressive orgy of death."
 * "You, sir, are a fucking idiot!"
 * "You got beat up in school a lot, didn't you?

Trivia

 * Greg Proops and John DiMaggio, who had previously worked together on animated films such as Asterix and the Vikings and Kaena: The Prophecy, were both contacted by the voice cast director Jack Fletcher to play the parts of the announcers for the North American release. While most of their lines were already scripted, the two were allowed to ad-lib during recording, with some lines being retained in the final game.
 * It is in Kreese's contract to make fun of Howard.
 * During boss fights, Kreese often comments on the current boss, mostly providing an anecdote about him fighting the boss during his own career. He seems to have fought most, if not all bosses in MadWorld. Usually he would state where or when he fought them. Examples include the Cuba, '04, and '07 DeathWatch Games. But this contradicts the main storyline where no DeathWatch Games have been held since 2001. These may have been underground, foreign, or otherwise unofficial DeathWatch Games.
 * He lives in a trailer which doubles as a meth-lab, which Howard has visited before.
 * Kreese once went to a medical school, but quickly dropped out because of the requirements like reading, studying and showing up to class.
 * He has a girl friend as revealed in the fight with Jude the Dude, and has had at least more than one illegitimate child with her.
 * Some of the commentators' dialogue at one point suggests that when he is not taking part in DeathWatch, Kreese enjoys playing golf in his free time.
 * He might have a love for frogs or animals in general, as he gets upset when Howard comments that the same thing happens to a frog when Jack uses the Peking Pop on a Grey in Money Shot II, and also disparagingly calling him a "Frog Killer".
 * In that same dialogue it is stated that Kreese is a former champion of DeathWatch.
 * During the fight with Martin, Kreese notes that his missiles remind him of a bong he made in his high school metal class.
 * He is afraid of robots taking over the world, as evidenced by a ensuing rant by him in response to Howard saying "Jack's like a machine out there!".
 * Despite this, he is actually excited for the rampage that robots may cause, given his enthusiasm at the beginning of the boss fight with Martin.
 * This could be because Kreese likes the destruction that the robots cause, rather than the robots themselves.
 * Ironically, despite being a competitor in multiple DeathWatch games and now currently an announcer, he does not know what its name is, as revealed in the fight with The Masters.
 * It is heavily implied that he is physically disabled, given how he mentions that he can barely walk on the floor in the boss fight against Jude the Dude, among other anecdotes describing his injuries.
 * According to Kreese, he once used an extra-life and came back as a roach, which he actually enjoyed, and learned that roaches are able to survive for a week without a head.
 * His enjoyment of his life as a roach might be because of his already impressive ability to survive injuries, which roaches also share.